Educate Your Teens About Sex

Throes Of Adolescence
If there's one age group that parents wring their hands over, it's teenagers between the ages of fourteen and seventeen. They are in the throes of adolescence, which often means they are moody, private, likely to take risks, and likely to challenge authority and conventions. It can be a difficult subject to talk about, but nearly everybody thinks about it and most teenagers learn about it from the people with the shakiest information: their peers.

Actively Exploring
One day they behave like five-year-olds, the next like mature adults. Most teenagers have entered puberty, and are actively exploring their sexuality, and it can be a profoundly confusing time.

Think About Values
Before you speak with your child about sexuality, think about what your values are. What do you believe? What does your faith tradition say? It is important to give your children factual information -- and to be very specific about how your beliefs either agree with or differ from science.

Teen Rights
Sometimes the adolescent will ask about sex in reference to a friend. That opens up an opportunity for the teenager to share their own values and thoughts.  Parents need to know what's going on in these areas. On the other hand, I think it's important for parents to recognize that teenagers are becoming independent and they do, to some extent, have rights to privacy. They do have the right to have time alone in their room without anybody being in there.

Asking For Opinions
That doesn't mean that parents can't talk to kids. But rather then just telling them what you think, you may open the door a lot better if you ask their opinion too.

Spend Time With Your Teens
I also think it's really important for parents to spend time with their teenager. It is very helpful, in terms of keeping communication open and demonstrating your commitment, if you do something together that you both enjoy doing. To bring up issues of sexuality, the ideal approach is to take advantage of the right moment. A TV programme, a movie or a newspaper article can be an excellent excuse to start a conversation. It’s important to take a position without judging or condemning—not to hesitate to convey our values.

Gotta Listen
Also, parents must pay attention, be available, and take time to listen to the questions and concerns raised by their teenager. Basically, you have to listen not just with your ears, but with your heart. That way, the child retains the message that the parent is present, interested and open to talking about these issues.